✝️ on being a perfectionist as a Christian
since the beginning of lent, God has been pushing me to create something like a mini blog for myself. well, maybe not a blog specifically, but a place where i can share what He has to say, through me, that doesn’t merely stay in the drafts of my ICloud Notes.
due to my perfectionist tendencies, however, this action has been delayed. again and again. like Jonas, i have been running away from my calling, convincing myself i had to be “perfect” or “polished” in order to begin anything.
this hasn’t been the first time ive attempted sharing my Christian journey. first, i tried doing reels on Instagram like the Christian…influencers?…on there. it feels wrong to call them that. my first video had a poignant theme, of the unworthiness of those called, but it never made it out of drafts. i rarely share my meditations, save for my family and those closest to my soul. unsurprisingly so, i have started to overthink—are these even meant to be shared? will anyone even read them? what if im criticized? what if im sabotaged by the devil or prevented by some other external force and i end up regretting doing this at all?
ok girl relax you’re just literally writing-
but for me nalang, i’ll say this. and to you guys too, if that makes sense. im not here to sound polished or pretty (already i notice my lack of capitalization T-T). my notes are going to be messy, long, and much. im not here to preach, im here to share what ive learned as a Christian and as a person, and to testify through the means i was given. essentially, i don’t want this faith to be something i perform—out of fear of scrutiny or perfectionism—but something i continue to live.
so for all those struggling with perfectionism in their faith and their lives—kaya mo yan. just do it (nike reference guys?). imperfect execution beats flawless planning WITHOUT actual follow-through. just make it pretty later HAHA- but if any of you readers struggle with this as well, let’s help each other out. do you have any tips for overcoming perfectionism as well? :’)
To close, i hope this has made sense in some way or another. it’s the first step that’s always the hardest, so perhaps it will get easier from here. i’ll close off writing now, but see you in the next one!