🕵️ Spy Wednesday tots

02 Apr, 2026

No, we will not be talking about James Bond. I myself haven’t watched a full movie, but I have watched all the John Wick movies cus Keanu Reeves is really just a teddy bear like please 😔fight me in DMs if you think otherwise /j

Today though, the spy we’ll be talking about is Judas Iscariot, the one who would betray Jesus. As Jesus settles down with His disciples at the table in the upper room, Jesus seems greatly distressed. He looks up sadly yet lovingly at His beloved friends, and drops this bomb: “One of you is going to betray Me.”

I imagine the whole table erupting in murmurs and exchanged looks of surprise. “Surely it is not I, Lord?” each Apostle says in turn. Even I would’ve panicked. Was there some future evil brewing in my heart that I didn’t know about or something- but as the whole scene unfolds, Judas asks likewise: “Surely it is not I?” Standard spy procedure: blend in.

What the rest of the Apostles didn’t know, however, was that Judas had already made a deal with the elders prior to their last meal with Jesus—30 pieces of silver for his Lord, teacher, and friend. For context, this was the price of a slave, which highlights the contempt and insult of the chief priests towards Jesus. And now, all Judas needed was the right timing.

An opportunity came in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus was vulnerable—alone and praying at a distance while the three other Apostles slept. As He wakes them, Judas steps out of the shadows and kisses Jesus on the cheek, marking Him out for the chief priests in the darkness of the night. The three disciples and all the rest scatter after more soldiers arrive, and Jesus is arrested.

Mission accomplished? Perhaps not. As soon as Judas hears that Jesus is condemned to death, he realizes what he has done. Full of remorse, he runs back to the chief priests in the Temple, confessing, “I have sinned, by betraying innocent blood.” But he finds no empathy in their words: “What is that to us? That is your responsibility.” Taking his money, Judas throws the 3 coins into the Temple and leaves. Matthew 27:5 tells us that shortly afterwards, he hangs himself.

However, Judas isn’t the only one to betray Jesus. As Jesus is tried before the high priests, we see Peter in the courtyard deny any knowledge of Jesus three times, after swearing he would die for Him (dw Peter you will just not now). As he runs to escape further scrutiny, he hears a cockerel crow in the distance. Remembering Jesus’s words, he breaks down in tears (Luke 22: 61-62).

We’ve all betrayed ourselves, our neighbor, and God at some point in our lives. Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. We betray Him every day for free—from our compromises to our selfish choices, in all the big and small ways we allow darkness to gain ground. But what is important is this question: will we stay in the dark, or walk back towards the light?

Whenever I feel like I’ve gone too far from God, I think of the contrast between Judas and Peter. The story of Judas is a tragedy. I’ve always felt bad for him. If it really was his destiny to betray Jesus, that didn’t have to be the end. Paul’s former hobby was killing Christians, but look at the comeback—greatest preacher in Christian history. Perhaps by some supreme act of grace and forgiveness, Judas could’ve…but then again, that isn’t what happened.

However, Peter sought mercy and forgiveness, while Judas despaired. John 21:7 is always a tearjerker for me: what do you mean Peter wanted to see Jesus so much that he couldn’t even wait for the boat to come to shore? I tend to struggle with praying and facing God when I feel like I’ve messed up, even on the smallest things, but this Peter guy jumped out of the boat and swam to Him. Knowing myself, I probably would’ve stayed in the boat, afraid and perhaps doubtful. But true love dispels both fear and doubt.

So next time perhaps that you think you’ve messed up too hard and have strayed too far from goodness—don’t despair and succumb to that internal darkness, like Judas. Run (or in his case, swim) towards the Light on the shore, like Peter. You are never too far for Him.